Oh The Places You'll Go

I haven't been in the mood to write lately. When I logged on to start this blog, I couldn't remember the password! At any rate, there are so many things filling my head right now I feel like I'm going to explode.

One of my favorite books of all time is by Dr. Suess, "Oh The Places You'll Go". Wow, does it sum up life and all the different stages you come across on your journey. I feel like that main character walking along my path and reaching all of these crazy places in life. I'm at an age where I have so much to look forward to, but at the same time, so much to look back on and learn from. The question is am I really learning from them?

I believe I've endured my fair share of heartache in this life. Have I learned from my past relationships or has it just hardened me? Furthermore, is that the lesson?

Just recently I had a talk with Keona and tried to get her to see the good in all situations. It's so easy to tell someone to do the right thing, but so very hard to practice it.

I think this is also why I haven't been in the mood to blog. I like telling stories and laughing about them, but lately, this isn't a "story"...it's my life and it's real.

I posted on FB the other day that I'm following the yellow brick road and I don't want any man lacking courage, brains or a heart to come with me. Right now, that is about the only thing I know. I know what I don't want, but I don't know what I do want?! I'm my own puzzle and the thing that is driving me the most crazy is I can't figure myself out. Given some time I have figured out and understood the most complex of things, but I've come across something that has me stuck and it's none other than me, myself and I.

There is a big divide in what I feel I need and what I feel I want. I cannot forget that I'm not only making decisions for me, but also for Keona. Sometimes, her needs and my wants are like oil and water. Together they possibly can enhance the flavor of life, but they really don't mix.

I'm a 37 year old single Mom that struggles every day just to get by. I've been hurt and scarred by every man that has ever touched my heart. I used to walk taller than my 5'3" frame and have an unbreakable spirit and confidence. Right now that spirit and confidence is playing hide and go seek with me and I'm finding it easier to just not play at all.

"And when you’re in a Slump, you’re not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done. You will come to a place where the streets are not marked. Some windows are lighted. But mostly they’re darked. A place you could sprain both your elbow and chin! Do you dare to stay out? Do you dare to go in? How much can you lose? How much can you win? And if you go in, should you turn left or right…or right-and-three-quarters? Or, maybe, not quite? Or go around back and sneak in from behind? Simple it’s not, I’m afraid you will find, for a mind-maker-upper to make up his mind."